So I Thought
by CheshireMax
Summary: Roxas. Is that who I am? Am I just Sora with an X? A fragment of some faceless name' That was my beginning. Roxascentric drabbles&one-shots. R&R please.
1. First Thought

It's been forever since I put out a new story and I've been sitting on this for a while and I decided to bring it out. This is going to be a series of one-shots and drabbles centering around Roxas. I already have several typed up, but this isn't going to be regularly updated. It'll be more spontaneous and based on how and when I'm inspired.

I hope everyone enjoys this and please leave me a review, and if you hate it/flame it please explain why or I will ignore you.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Squeenix does. 83**

--- --- --- _First Thought_

Nothingness, if that's even a word, is what I first felt.

Everything was hollow and empty, nothing had a name, and nothing was unique. It was just there, and so was I.

That was my beginning.

---

_Sora_. Is that my name?

No. It's not. _Sora_ is not who I am, _Sora_ is who I _was._

Who I am… _Who am I_?

**Roxas. **Is that who I am? Am I just _Sora_ with an **X**? A **fragment** of some _faceless name_?

I guess that's who we all are. Just the unwanted pieces of somebodies.

---

I was found by the Superior. Well, back then he wasn't Superior. He was the man with the orange eyes and black coat. The man who knew my name and knew that there was a person inside of that empty shell of a body.

Now that I think about it, he didn't find me just to help a Nobody in need, if that was his plan there would be more than just thirteen (fourteen) bodies within that prison cell of a castle.

He found me because I had power. I could do what others couldn't.

I may not have a heart but I could find and destroy them.

The _Heartless_, that is. They have what we lack, and we have what they lack.

We're just natural enemies.


	2. First Impressions

I only got one review. Dx

I know you people are there, I know Nyah-chan isn't the only one that read this. Please review! I'll give you cyber Roxas plushies! 8D

**Disclaimer: I'm no Squeenix.**

--- --- --- _First Impressions_

After Xemnas the first one of them I met was Axel.

My first thought: _'Is his hair naturally like that?'_

As for first impressions, he really didn't make a great one. All the other members made better first impressions than he did, even that crazy scientist, and he had wanted to use me in experiments.

**"He's really **_**shor**_**t."**

Really? Like I hadn't noticed I'm short.

Though at that time, I didn't care much about what he said about me. I didn't care much about anything, in fact.

It was only after days being locked in 'my' room that I came to gather some sort of personality and that what he had said actually got processed.

I had a lot to think about, that first week. There were the memories, the echoes of emotions that weren't really mine. The twinge of annoyance I felt at that _guy_ saying I was short? It wasn't even really mine, it belonged to _him. _

To _Sora. _


	3. Black Coats

Morbid chapter time! 8D Because I'm a morbid person.

Still no new reviews, but I did get a favorite. I thank you for that favorite, but could you please review my story? It hurts my poor shriveled non-heart.

--- --- --- _Black Coats_

You know why we have black coats? It's so that blood stains don't show.

Black hides all the other colors; it muffles white, absorbs red, and smothers all other colors with its shadows and folds.

I don't like using my Oathkeeper keyblade.

The pure whiteness of it is a reminder of what that _boy_ was and what I wasn't. I can hear blood dripping from the edges, but I can't look at it. Looking at it reminds me of what was.

I can't even look at myself. When I do all I see is _him. _

The second week I would spend hours in front of the single mirror in my room. I would contort my face into a medley of different expressions. Each and every one of them was a lie.

A grin.

'_This boat runs on happy faces!'_

A frown.

'_You're stupid! Sooner or later, they'll swallow your heart!'_

There was never any real emotion in any of them.


	4. Knowing

Sorry if this chapter makes no sense xD

I'm also sorry that it took so long to update, this has been written for about a month I just never got around to posting it.

I also want to thank Nyah-chan, Erika Strider, and Silverclock for being my three reviewers. Though, Nyah doesn't really count since we're best buds IRL and comment on everything.

I also am lacking inspiration for future drabbles/one-shots. If anyone would like to give me any prompts (one word, one sentence, I don't care!) feel free to do so!

**Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts I doubt I'd be digging through my desk drawers for quarters to pay for an Otakon badge. xD**

_--- --- --- Knowing_

I was still new to the whole 'thinking' thing. The _red-haired wonder _asked me what kind of cereal I wanted. I didn't answer. I didn't know how.

The _mad scientist_ asked me if something hurt or felt wrong during a check-up. I couldn't answer. I didn't know what pain was.

I didn't know what pleasure was either.

None of us _really_ _**knew**_ what pleasure was. We could eat ice cream and say it was good, or drink spoiled milk and say it was bad, but **real** pleasure and **real** emotional pain? No one could really tell me what it was like.

The first I asked was that instrument-strumming nut. He smiled a lot; he should know.

"_Well, Roxy, can I call you Roxy?"_

"No."

"_So, Roxy, you want to know what emotions feel like."_

"That's what I asked you."

"_Right, right. Well, Roxy, emotions are like music."_

I should have known that he would compare emotions to music.

"_Loud, screaming, floor-pulsing music is like anger. When it takes control of you that's all you can hear, it's all you can feel. When it's over your ears feel like there's cotton inside of them, and you can't hear so hot._

"_Sadness is like a single violin playing something soft and delicate. Almost like if you touch it, it'll fall apart in your hands and be lost to the world. Add more violins, more string instruments, and the sound intensifies, but all the instruments can be overpowering and you won't be able to hear the single violin anymore._

"_Techno and hip-hop and pop are all examples of something that can be 'happy'. It's bubbly, light, easy to listen to, something that can be sung in the shower or in a dark portal."_

In a dark portal? Why would someone want to sing in a dark portal? The Melodious Noctune was, in my opinion, one of the strangest members of the Organization. Stranger still, he began laughing.

"Why are you laughing, IX?"

"_It's funny 'cause out of the three major emotions, happiness is hardest to describe!"_

I think it's funny that out of all the emotions, I want to know what happiness feels like the most. I guess Nobodies aren't supposed to know.


	5. Strange Looks

Sorry I haven't gotten anything new up in a while! I've been at work and hauling around 5-year-olds all day can really drain someone (I work at a summer camp).

I'm not too sure how this idea came into being. Nyah-chan started spouting random crap about Xigbar rubbing lotion in his eye socket and this idea was spawned.

Any ideas are still welcome!

**Disclaimer: If I owned any part of Square Enix I wouldn't have been crying over my lack of money at Otakon xD**

--- --- --- _Strange Looks_

Slowly I had begun to come out of my shell, AKA my room. The first time I decided that I should try having breakfast I wasn't quite prepared for what was about to happen.

Standing around in the kitchen of the Castle That Never Was I bet I looked pretty awkward. I didn't really know what to do. I didn't know how to cook, I didn't know where anything was kept, I didn't really know much. I guess that someone worse could have come into the room at that moment.

"_Yo, new kid,"_ Looking over I wish I hadn't. Well, not really, but I could have done without seeing that.

Number II had walked into the room, shirtless, and without his eye patch.

I couldn't help but stare. I had never seen an empty eye socket before. It looked… strange… Xigbar was rubbing lotion into the scarred, empty hole.

He must have noticed how I was looking at him.

"_Dude, y'know how hard it is; rubbing lotion into this thing every day? And people give me weird looks about it. This thing hurts, man!"_ He waved his arms about; I had to duck to avoid getting a lotion-covered hand in the face.

I just stared at him. Was he embarrassed?

No. It was just an echo from his somebody's emotions. His other's.

Instead of thinking about the matter further I began exploring the kitchen. It seemed like a better option than standing around with my stomach growling. How an organ could make such strange noises was beyond me.

First cupboard: dishes and bowls. I had to stand on the tips of my toes to reach the bowls that were stacked higher up. I could hear number two snickering at me.

Second cupboard: flour, sugar, and other such ingredients. What was the difference between baking powder and baking soda anyway?

Third cupboard: Spices. It was mess of little labeled containers in no particular order.

Fourth cupboard: Cereal and snacks. I reached for a random box; I had no preference since I'd never tried cereal before.

"_Dude, I wouldn't have the Lucky Charms," _Number Two spoke up from where he was reading the newspaper at the stark white table.

I checked the brightly colored label on the box, "And why not?" I grunted.

"_Saix guards that stuff like crazy, man. If you had some of it he'd know and come after you."_

Saix was the blue haired one, right? Number seven. The one with the feral-looking yellow eyes and X shaped scar. He didn't look like the cereal-hording type.

I let out a sigh and replaced the box on the shelf before grabbing another one. I made sure Number Two had nothing to say before checking the drawers for spoons.

My task complete I grabbed the milk from the fridge (why was there soy milk?) before making myself a bowl of Apple Jacks, I think it was called.

Couldn't Number Two put his eye patch back on? It was a bit disturbing seeing the scar tissue over the empty socket. Especially while trying to eat.


End file.
